Deadly Domestic Violence

Pieces of Paper Don't Work

This is a tough post to write.  Early this morning, a acquaintance, her 1-year-old daughter, and her grandmother were brutally murdered by her estranged husband who then committed suicide by cop.

Several months ago, I gave her some advice and suggestions on making her home more secure and raising her situational awareness.  Just this past Friday I ran into her and asked how she was.  She was very upbeat and said things were going well.  She did everything right.  She had him arrested.  She kicked him out of the house.  She got an emergency protective order and then had it expanded to a permanent restraining order.  She had a relative staying with her.  She made sure the neighbors and her coworkers knew what was going on, what he looked like, and what he drove.  She had the locks changed.  She filed legal separation.  She went to court yesterday and got full custody of the child.  There is only one way to stop a determined attacker.  Unfortunately, it appears she either did not have it or did not use it.

If someone in your life becomes a domestic violence victim, please do everything you can to help them.  Convince them that the spouse will not change with just one more chance.  Encourage them to be proactive, suspicious and untrusting of the spouse.  A gun needs to become a part of their life to help ensure that they can defend against an attack.  They can't depend on a restraining order.  They can't wait for the police to respond if the spouse is kicking in the door.  Also remember that domestic violence is not always man on woman.

A family was destroyed today and a lot of people lost a good friend.  A woman lost her mother, daughter and grandchild.  Four police officers were forced to kill a man who needed to die.


  1. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost many and everyday will bring highs and lows. You must move foward or the loss will overwhem your thoughts. Remember the goodtimes and stay strong. I and others read your blog daily.

  2. I used to work at a domestic violence center in Stafford...I have too many victims of the system (going both ways) and too many victims who died even though they did everything 'right'. God bless those who find themselves in this ugly situation...seems to me the judge didn't think hard enough about how much of a threat the guy was...who should have been in jail.
    I have seen too much violence in the home and have seen families ripped apart too because of an argument that got 'loud' (in this state now no physical harm has to happen in order to get a DMV charge or protective order). It is all ugly and I am sorry that you lost your friend.

  3. Thanks, Laura. I really feel for anyone who has been touched by DV


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